I love being a mom, it is one of the most amazing things that could have happened. I know the moms out there understand. When I first saw him, he was one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Holding him for the first time, it was amazing. I cried, and kept saying how beautiful of a baby he was. I had him exactally 24hrs to the hour of my 21st bday. So I had one of the most amazing birthday presents. The pain thought, our kids cause pain from before they even leave the wound. They will cause you pain there whole lifes, I know I did, and still do with my mom.
So last night, my son had a melt down out of no where. I had him come cuddle me, and talk to me what was upseting him. I had to stay strong for him, I wanted to cry with him. It is soo hard to see your kids go throught that. I know it sux, and hurts to have a mental breakdown like that. On top of that I dont want to see my baby hurt. You know those motherly insticts. They call it the mother bear reaction. I would turn into a bear, if some one come after my baby. I will beat the first girl, or boy, he ends up with.
Do you ever wonder, how well your kid will be when they are out of your house. I know I do, he tells me he wants, to be a robotic engineer, I hope he does proceed that. I want him to be way better off than me, but that is every parent, well most parents. I know he can be better off than me. I have to keep on him, keeping good grade in school. I know you know how well that work, “Mom I don’t have homework.” Remember the excuse of the dog ate my homework. I remember doing my hour of studying. My mom had to rule that you sat a hour after school doing school work. That was boring but it kind of worked lol.
I have those days where, I tell myself, why did I want a kid. Or I ask him when I can retire from motherhood, he laughs. Or the best thing is when they keep bugging you, so you ignore them, but can only ignore them for so long. I look at my son, and say your computer if calling you, or GET THE FUCk AWAY FROM ME!! I will sometimes say well I am going to punch you. He laughs and says that is a empty threat mom, then I put my head down, and say well I do guess it is. I would never hit him, and he knows that. I love when he says mom, I don’t want any other parents. Or your the best mom, my heart melts.
I love being a parent, I love experiencing, and watching him grow up. It can be hard, sad, and fun. They will make you cry, and laugh. But they are worth it all 100%. .